| And Roger Williams spins in his grave |
[May. 8th, 2009|07:03 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  fuuuuuck | ] |
What the fuck is this.
These people need to go visit a grade school history class and learn about why Rhode Island was founded in the first place.
This is just plain embarrassing now. Religious freedom is the cornerstone of the state. The other colonies said they wanted it, but they really wanted to just start a colony that practiced their religion. Rhode Island was the first place that the freedom became real. RI built the wall between church and state. This is our state pride, here. This is why our state motto is Hope.
And now, a little under 400 years later, and we're the ones who can't set aside our religious beliefs to let two legal, consenting adults get married?
Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture?! |
|
|
| And the steak tastes so much better when I take my steak-tastes-better pills |
[May. 4th, 2009|01:22 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  fuuuuuck | ] |
Yup, still failing hardcore at keeping this updated. That's one more thing I can't seem to do right, I guess.
You don't really want to know how my life is going right now, do you? Well, too bad.
The school has been examining my head. I have been prescribed anti-depressants to try and help with my emotional issues and anxieties. The thought of this doesn't sit well with me, but fuck, I have reached the point where I obviously cannot deal with it on my own.
Meanwhile, I owe my school money. I can't get a loan to pay for it on my own. My wonderful, loving father refuses to cosign. So, apparently I'm going to have to take a year off to work and raise the money.
My dad thinks it'll be good for me, as if the stress and anxiety of this horrible failure is just what I need to finally get motivated and set my life on track. And just like all the past failures, all it's doing is turning me into an emotional wreck who can't focus on her goddamn schoolwork.
I have about two weeks left before the semester ends and I have to move back home. The thought of it makes my stomach turn.
...
FML.
And now you know why I don't update this thing anymore. |
|
|
| Title goes here |
[Mar. 8th, 2009|11:37 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Whoa, hey, I'm really updating this again. I think my lobster icon is kinda magic. Or maybe it's just because I want to stop hiding from my life (as I've done for the past several months) and start writing more, and this kills two birds with one stone.
HEY SO MY MAFIA GAME FAILED WHOOO but I made it fun for the players anyway so I don't think they're going to burn down my house anytime soon.
I fear I may not be able to afford another year of college and I am probably going to be tested for ADD soon. So... yeah, whooo. Life.
Kinda glad to be back home for the week. Kinda.
I'm feeling kinda frustrated about RPing.
( Like anyone really cares about that, though. )
God, I could go for some Lunar, though. I've even considered playing Lunar: Dragon Song, despite all the horror stories I've heard about it, just because I miss that beautiful little world.
I miss it so much that I'm tempted to just write some goddamn Mary Sue fanfics about me and Leo. I don't care if it's borderline furry with his beastman traits, he's effing hot. (Yes, for those who have been following along, I still have a thing for men of the law who do horrible things despite having the best intentions, and then work to redeem themselves after.)
Dentist appointment tomorrow. Haven't been flossing much, as usual. Hope the dentist doesn't give me a hard time about that again... |
|
|
| If any of you guys happen to like Ace Attorney~ |
[Feb. 25th, 2009|08:46 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  weird | ] |
I'm hosting my own game of Court Records Mafia, a small round called Food Fight, starting on Friday. We're already pretty much booked full for players, but signups for backup players are still open. Or if you'd like you can just watch, and hang out with me in the dead thread.
I'm already so excited. Wheee, I get to be a Mafia GM! :D
Could post this in the AA LJ community, but since it's already full of players, I won't. And you guys can't make me. >:V |
|
|
| Pie lives, Sims do not |
[Feb. 20th, 2009|01:31 am] |
I wonder if anyone still follows this on their friendslist and stuff. I just need to make some kind of record of my progress here, because that's the best way I can think of to stop me from working on it more.
So I've been getting back into Sims lately, mostly in an attempt to make an Apollo Justice themed neighborhood (and then some - Ema leads to including Lana, which makes me wanna include the Marshall brothers, so on and so forth until I'm killing Sims en masse to make a haunted Hazakurain). And since there's not much good Ace Attorney content out there, I've decided to put my modeler knowledge to use and try making some of my own content.
(If you wanna see some of the VERY CRAPPY 3D animation I've done already, I've got it on youtube here.)
Before I start trying to make hair for Daryan, though, I've been teaching myself the ropes with a simple plush toy decoration, from an object cloned off the mannequin because I thought it would be a good size reference...
( Base, with some minor difficulties ) |
|
|
| WHOOOOOOOOOOP |
[Jul. 14th, 2008|05:14 pm] |
I have been horrible at keeping this up to date at all. As I'm sure you all know. Whatever. My life is crappy and depressing right now, and I don't think you wanna hear about it.
So what can I talk about that's happy?
I've been pulled into playing a game called Mafia on the court-records.net forums. The first round I was in just finished, and my team won.
I was Gumshoe. I started off the game not knowing this, because like several characters in the game, I had amnesia (it was based off 2-1). I had to give away my Autopsy Report as soon as I got it, make a huge mess to find some moles that had gotten in the Town Watch, and died three times. THREE! I swear I'm a much more awesome player than I must seem right now.
Apparently, though, I made one of the best moves in the game by accident. One piece of special Evidence, Missile, had basically been made to retrieve the Autopsy Report after its Hidden Power had been used. But I suggested we use it early to get the Mafia's Swanky Blue Suit instead, after Tigre's Hidden Power was used up very early. And the suit basically helped us control the trials from that point on. By the last trial, the Mafia was completely helpless.
Good times, good times. I need a Gumshoe icon now.
and i need my real life to stop getting to me so much D: |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2008|03:26 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
I feel so sick and awful. But very, very, very happy. Is that allowed?
Oh, my leetle LJ, I do need to start updating you again. We've been together for over four years now! Man, how time flies.
Soooo I went to a convention and did a cosplay of Mia Fey and apparently looked damn hawt in the process.
Anyone wanna see? I'm not going to the trouble of giving you guys the pics from the con if I'm not sure anyone cares. |
|
|
| OBJECTION |
[Oct. 4th, 2007|11:43 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney 'This Feeling' | ] |
Soooo. Lately there's been this fun Phoenix Wright RP thread thingy on Gaia. I am making many new friends in it. And new enemies! Exciting! *wipes away a tear*
Anyway, said thing had the players pass around one of those "Which character are you?" quizzes, which I found immensely fun. I can't stop thinking over my results.
I ranked 100% Phoenix Wright and 99% Miles Edgeworth. And I thought to myself upon reading that, smugly, "Clearly I am the natural born incarnation of law and debate."
And then... I ranked 95% Damon Gant and 93% Manfred von Karma. And I thought to myself upon reading that, uncomfortably, "Apparently I am also the incarnation of pure evil manipulation and raping people."
And then... I ranked 90% Udgey. And I thought to myself upon reading that, horrified, "Apparently I am also the incarnation of PURE UNFILTERED STUPID."
(Don't get me wrong, I like the Judge, but I don't want to be him. D': )
Oh, I'm as contradictory as ever, it seems. Like a bear trap with a giant doily under it.
There was also a JFA one but that was kinda boring, beyond again proving I'm very much Phoenix and only slightly less Edgey (100% to 95%, this time).
If you really wanna see my full results, I posted them on Gaia here and here and I'm too lazy to post them in this entry with LJ cuts so you'll have to go check 'em out there. Quizzes are here and here.
...
Don't look at me that way. It's a slow night with minimal homework and none of the exceptional players from said thread on. It's miraculous I'm posting in this journal at all.
...
...
...
Who wants to go swimming? |
|
|
| Six degrees of sep- ... not even. |
[Sep. 12th, 2007|09:04 pm] |
I wonder if there's any way to figure out just how e-famous you are.
Lately I've been on a Gaia kick. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I decided I really wanted a Plumeria Headpiece more than I wanted to do more editing on Bulbapedia this month.
So turns out Sandslice, who I knew back from the PFF, and who referred me to Gaia way back when, is not only still on Gaia... but, as I somehow didn't learn until now, became an admin sometime between then and now.
On one hand, I'm all like "happy dance, happy dance!" because it feels special to know an admin on a site as big as Gaia.
On the other hand, I'm tempted to hide. People have already identified me at conventions from my work at Bulbapedia and in SOVA. And on Gaia, people tend to flock to me because of my name... I have a feeling this is all gonna lead to me hiding under my bed for the next six months.
Crap, wait, I have classes. Maybe I just need to start working on a clever disguise. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2007|12:47 am] |
I'm a weird person when it comes to dealing with others. Mainly that I don't just put us before me... I put them before us.
Does that make any sense? I don't know. Maybe it'd make more sense if I said I value our friendship more than my own wellbeing, and the wellbeing of my friend more than our friendship.
Tonight I had a friend sign off angry at me. I made her angry at me. Because she didn't want to fight, but not fighting meant not talking about a guy who's hurting her, whether she wants to believe it or not. And as I told her, I'd rather have her hate me and safe than love me and in danger.
I'll try and leave it there, because I don't want to offend her by giving away too many details.
This isn't the first time I've done this to one of my friends. It's one of those things I'm good at. But unfortunately, I'm not sure I like this as much as art or math.
On one hand, I can't help but want to help my friends, and I feel proud when I do.
On the other hand, nothing will lower your self-esteem more than when your friends think you're a bitch. Especially when you know you are. |
|
|
| Come visit Potwood |
[Aug. 23rd, 2007|12:03 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | bored | ] |
Anyone else have Animal Crossing: Wild World?
My friend code is 1074-8299-5489. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 9th, 2007|12:56 am] |
Don't get me started on updating this thing. I don't know when I'll be doing it regularly again. Tonight, I need a break from having these thoughts in my head to having them somewhere else.
Here are my shoes. Take a walk in them.
I came home from Boston a little under three months ago. And a little less than that time, I wanted to go back. I miss roaming the sidewalks of Boston, whether sheltered from the sun of the day on the shady Fenway, or through the light of the lamps on Newbury Street in the late evening. I even miss wading through the streets like rivers whenever it rained, and the smaller, stiffer bed of a smaller room in a dorm full of friends and warm faces.
My room feels more like a hideout than home. My father and stepmother don't know how to deal with me. They speak as though they do, but their actions tell a very different story. One moment they've forgotten I've existed, and the next they're scolding me like a small child. One moment they're swearing they know what my computer means to me, and the next they're removing my contact with my distant friends. They talk often about my stress problems, but beyond bringing them back to my surface, they've done nothing but suggest psychiatric help.
I tried to find work. My father and stepmother don't believe that. But I did. No one wanted to hire a young woman who would disappear in the fall and likely never return. I wonder if college is slowly killing the idea of summer jobs.
My mother has offered me a refuge from them. I don't know what state I would be in if not for her. My "job" has become helping keep my adopted sister in a good mood. Some days it is very easy. Other days it feels impossible.
Regardless, it is no refuge from guilt. Everyone is always looking at what I'm doing wrong. I've always been sensitive to it, but lately it feels worse than usual. Perhaps more is expected of me now that I am an adult. Perhaps I've grown used to the comforts of my friends at college, who always are glad to see me and love to point out what I'm doing right, not what I'm doing wrong. My friends assume the best of me. My parents assume the worst.
When it grows late at night, I return to this "hideout" to my other refuge, the computer. It's not very satisfying lately, though. There is the joy of things like Facebook, where I can be a pirate and get fish in a little aquarium from my college friends, and Bulbapedia where I'm the unofficial queen. But it feels like I've taken on too many obligations. And the more I try to just keep to what I enjoy and what makes me happy, the more people tug me this way and that.
Hey, Pie, I have a question to ask you about Bulbapedia. Hey, Pie, we need to work on setting up that online league. Hey, Pie, I can give you this for a great deal but I need the money now. Pie, you should work more on this fic. Pie, let's keep working on this riddle game together. Pie, you don't draw much anymore. Pie, you should stick with the RP even if you haven't enjoyed it for a year now. Pie, you should come in the chat more. You should be Bulbacasting. You should check Gaia more. You should update your journal more often so I know what you're up to. Hey, Pie, you're not talking much... are you okay?
I guess I'm not okay. Some nights I'm mostly okay. I'll feel more peaceful and content, and I'll stop now and then and listen to the soft sound of night creatures out in the woods and pond. Other nights I'll type to late hours, talking to other people either because I need someone to talk to or because I'm already feeling hurt and I hope maybe something I type will make me stop crying. I know that there's something about this which is genuinely helping me, but there are nights where I still go to bed feeling like I lost more today than I gained.
I think the only reason I'm still putting up with all this is because I have less than a month before I can go back. Hopefully, after this summer, I'll be able to stay in the city for the rest of my college years at least. |
|
|
| Phoenix Wright |
[Jun. 19th, 2007|02:27 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| | amused | ] |
I got Phoenix Wright: Ace Attourney finally. I'm catching up on the DS games... kinda. This one was in the discount bin for some reason.
Anyway, I've been playing it nonstop since I got it and... there's something bugging me...
...
...
...
Either I became a slash fangirl without noticing, or Edgeworth is SO gay for Wright. |
|
|
| For SCIENCE! |
[Jun. 15th, 2007|02:13 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  nerdy | ] |
I am doing important research!
Started off with collecting data at site A. After considering the findings, I was curious about the results of a sample taken in a more general area, which led me to collect data at site B.
Very, very interesting differences!
So, now I am checking at site C, and another enthusiast has just started collecting at site D and site E.
The data material?
How much Pokémon fans want plushies of the human characters. |
|
|
| Fun with MSN Paint Chat |
[Mar. 18th, 2007|10:31 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  silly | ] |
*gigglegigglesnrk*
So I got bored and decided to show Sui vaguely what the child of Brock and Ariel would look like using MSN Paint Chat. YES I STILL SHIP OCs WITH CCs SHUSH
Anyway.
Then I decided to have some more fun.
( It's a beautiful story ) |
|
|
| As If My Life Depends On It |
[Mar. 12th, 2007|08:43 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
I'm doing it again. I blame this on my class, Writing As If Your Life Depends On It. Because I'm beginning to suspect that maybe, in some way or another, it does.
( Pain. ) |
|
|
devious![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}